Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Amma Dreams 2006 04 12

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2006 04 12: Dreamed that I was watching this long movie about a 3-4 yr old child avatar (avatar means "incarnation of God"). At the end of the movie He was brought to a rooftop terrace where all the people could see Him. He was shy at first & then He let everyone touch Him. Everyone loved the child avatar. I think there was another child there, like His sister.

2006 05 06: Dreamed that I was standing with Amma & a small group of people in an open space with a wooden floor. Amma told everyone to make groups of 3, but there weren't enough people, so Amma & I made a group of 2. We were standing with our arms outstretched holding hands like we were going to dance. Amma & I became like study partners during the retreat & I was very happy. At one point Amma & I were sitting on a sofa with me on Amma's left. I was looking at the scene from behind. I was feeling very affectionate & I was caressing the right hand side of Her neck. It felt SO SWEET to be cuddling w/ Amma. Amma seemed to really enjoy my caressing. Later on Amma & I were walking together w/ me on her Left side. I was watching the scene from behind. I started to caress Her neck again but Amma said "Hey Advait, don't get too attached to sensuous feelings." At one point Amma was trying to mediate some kind of conflict. Then Amma and I were looking down from a tall cliff at 2 white loons flying far below over the ocean. One of the loons flew close to the other and Amma said "OK, that means we have to comprimise."

2006 05 20: Dreamed I was in the main hall at Amritapuri with Amma. There were only a few people there. We were sitting near the Western Canteen. Amma was in Her darshan chair & I was sitting on the floor on Her left sorting some papers for recycling. Then everyone else left & it was just Amma & I. I was feeling a little confused about what to do. Amma also seemed a little confused with no devotees around. Then some devotees returned for darshan & I got in line on Amma's right. When I got close to Amma She put Her head near mine & asked "What happend to your rat-tail?" I replied I cut it off years ago. She said maybe I should grow it back. I was a little confused but also very happy to be near Amma.

2006 06 25. Dreamed that Amma arrived in the hall to give darshan and She came from some other event or meeting where she had to wear busines clothes including a skirt that was cut a little above Her knees. The skirt was a dark greenish-yellow color. There was dark wood paneling around Amma's darshan chair. As Amma was getting settled in Her chair, I got a brief glimpse that she was wearing some white knickers underneath Her skirt. I felt uncomfortable seeing that. Amma started to give darshan but then some pizza arrived. Then Amma was on the right side of the stage behind some columns eating Her pizza out of everyone's view. Amma & I were playing a little game of hide & seek while She was eating. Amma would stick Her head out from behind a column and I would lean out and catch Her looking at me. Then Amma would smile and quickly pull Her head back. At the end of our hide-and-seek game I blew Amma a kiss and She blew one back to me. I was happy. When Amma went back to Her darshan chair, Her body became old and frail. Some people nearby were concerned but Amma indicated She would give darshan no matter how frail Her body was. The people nearby were very happy about that. Then I was sleeping on the floor near Amma's right. Someone gave me some grape juice and I got up and sat in the front row. I was happy to be so close to Her.

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Amma Dreams 2006 02 09

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2006 02 19: Dreamed that it was a beautiful dawn and I was walking around the base of Arunachula looking up at the peak thinking it wouldn't take too long to go to the top. (Arunachula is a holy mountain in southern India). I started climbing and soon I saw some hippie guy aksing me to come inside . I went inside thru an opening into this very beautiful fancy large house. We all went to this one room where some western male vajrayana monks in robes seated on sofas were going to give some teachings. Other people were bowing at their feet as they came in. I thought for a moment about my guru Amma & bowing to another teacher, but quickly decided it would be ok. I bowed & touched the feet of one (he showed me the botttom of his feet first). Then when I did the same to the next one, I felt very powerful devotional tears like when I dream of Amma & want to cry. It was a wonderful feeling. Then I sat down on the floor to the left of the 2 teachers sitting on the sofa. People were still coming in and I saw one of the teachers drawing a mandala with a pencil. Then I noticed I had sufficient time to get up & use the bathroom.

2006 02 24: Dreamed that I saw Amma sign this document declaring equal rights for all beings. Then lots of others signed it. Many other Amma devotees where there.

2006 03 30. Dreamed that I was walking with Amma in the front yard of my old house at Stutterford drive and She looked just like Joyce! (Joyce is my biological mother). I told Amma how amazing it was that she looked just like Joyce as we were walking toward the front door.

2006 04 03. Dreamed that I was in a car and we drove down this hill where there were lots of people gathered around a little group of stores (typical American strip mall stores). Amma was there standing next to Her van & looking around and we were all excited & happy to be near Her.

2006 04 11. Dreamed that I was in this dark house & I started floating thru the rooms. Then I floated outside & was flying close to the ground & looking at the houses. It was a wealthy neighborhood with fancy houses. Then I was flying up above the treetops and it was still a little dark. Then I became completely conscious and lucid. I was telling myself "I am TOTALLY conscious." I was excited. I looked up at some clouds & down at the trees & I KNEW I was looking. At one point I noticed I was flying in some kind of airship looking thru some big windows. I called out "Amma! Amma! Amma!" with lots of longing. She didn't appear & I was disappointed. I saw trees below become covered with thick puffy snow. Then I was back in a bedroom in bed & I woke up & saw 2 small frogs near my right cheek. They were Tim's & I was annoyed & shooed them away. Tim came in & I wanted to tell him about the dream but I couldn't turn off a radio next to my bed. Finally we had to unplug the battery power.

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Amma Dreams 2005 12 19

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2005 12 09. Dreamed that I was sitting on a sofa with Amma watching comedy movie and She was also in the movie. She was like an older mentor to this goofy insecure guy in New York City who always pretended to know more then he really did (sound familiar?). At one point Amma and I were snuggling on the couch in front of the TV. I was SO happy & thinking how lucky I was to have private time with Amma! Later in the movie Amma has to leave the young man, and he becomes sad because he knew he was acting silly. There were scenes of cold grey skies in the city with sad music. But I was thinking this is a Hollywood movie and it will have a happy ending when the guy realizes his mistakes and Amma comes back.

2006 01 11. Dreamed that I was in this big, fancy house with Amma. Lots of blue colors & Amma was dressed in blue western clothes with a purse. The house was located somewhere near Springfield, VA. I was busy looking for a place to pee before we get on the bus to DC. At one point I'm walking thru a doorway and I suddenly see Amma in front of me. I quickly reach down and touch the floor near Her feet. I feel awed & humble to be close to Amma. Later Terry (my younger brother) & I are walking away from an Amma program. Terry is talking about how he really enjoyed the prgram & seeing Amma. I'm happy.

2006 02 04. Dreamed that I'm in a living room with 2 other Amma devotees. At one point Amma & I are sitting on a sofa with me on Her right. Then I move to another chair. I felt wonderful & awed to be near Amma. Her clothes were brilliant white like She was radiating light. Amma was getting us ready for some kind of next step. More stuff happened but I don't remember.

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Amma Dreams 2005 11 25

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2005 11 25. Dreamed that I was at Rhoni Groff's place with other devotees waiting for Amma to come back from Europe. When Amma walked in thru the back door I was in front & I felt a lot of emotion. I did a full prostration to Her and She came closer and let me touch Her feet. I felt very blessed. When I got up I started crying with joy to see Amma & others were crying also. Later Amma walked away from us to go to Her room. As She walked away She took off Her top & I noticed Her back was very thick and muscular like She lifted weights. Then later I was laying down & Amma was pressing on my root chakra for about 5-10 minutes. Very powerful sensations! I felt pain and shakti flowing thru me like Amma was fixing something in my lower chakras. (The day before this dream someone was telling about a powerful shakti experience they had with Amma). Then I was in a bar feeling the aftereffects of Amma's shakti & kind of spaced out. I was thinking how a bar was such yucky place with lots of vasana triggers. Then the bar closed & I left with the other people.

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Amma Dreams 2005 08 18

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2005 08 18: Dreamed that I was in the upper level of a bunk bed watching a TV program where the stars of a new TV program were being interviewed. They talked about how when they were young they would go visit Amma when She came to LA and how getting darshan was the "in" thing to do. I thought it was cool that Amma was becoming part of pop culture. Then I lay on my left side and closed my eyes to go to sleep and then it was like there was a light on. I opened my eyes but the room was dark and I realized the light was just in my head. I thought that was interesting. Then I was laying on my back and I felt this strong feeling like a strong electrical charge building around me. The charge energy spiked and I felt a big silent ZAP! I was kind of scared and the charged feeling was still around me. I said "Amma! Amma!" asking her to protect me.

2005 09 ??: Dreamed I was at this door which was covered in small rocks and I was working on getting the rock to spell "Amma". Then later I was talking with Tim (my older brother) about how Amma will be our best guide as the world goes thru many transitions.

2005 09 ??: (flying dream) Dreamed I was in this big school gym or cafeteria helping to set up for some event. Then for a long time I was sitting on this piece of wood flying around the room over the heads of everyone. It felt great and was lots of fun.

2005 09 14: Dreamed that I was at this meeting with Padmini and some other Amma devotees. We were discussing plans to make a movie about Amma. At one point Padmini said "I know I can sometimes come across as harsh and undiplomatic." I said "Well, keep talking and we'll see." I was being kind of a smartass and some other people there laughed at my comment. It felt good to say it - like I was protecting my boundaries. Then I was looking thru this Amma book and it had a picture of where She was born. There was a big tree in front of a small white house. It was daytime and the tree had garlands and other decorations on it. It reminded me of the Bodhi tree where the Buddha attained enlightenment. Then I started to cry because I was thinking how wonderful it was that Amma decided to take birth in this world. The crying felt good; lots of gratitude. I put the book away for a moment and then looked at it again and started to cry again.

2005 09 15: Dreamed that I was at this Amma program. Me & some other guys were in the cafeteria throwing a baseball and golf ball around. At one point one of the guys threw the golf ball fast and it bounced around over the heads of everyone and landed in an ice bucket. I felt that was kind of dangerous, but no one else seemed to mind. I was also keeping an eye on the darshan line. Just then a bunch of people came in and Amma said "OK, line up in front here!" I was eager to get darshan. Then I saw Amma giving darshan in Her underwear! As She gave me darshan She said it was OK for me to save money for trips to India and other satsangs. Darshan felt good.

2005 09 26: Dreamed I was walking with Amma to Her car. Amma was in a feisty mood. She got in the back seat on the drivers side and rolled down the window. As She was driving away She stuck out Her tounge like Kali. Amma had a long tounge! It was covered in shiny gold with a little bit of red. Then it was nightime and I was walking with Amma & two other guys to the home where She was staying. Amma was walking fast. I knew I couldn't go inside, so when Amma entered the home I turned around and headed back.

2005 10 08. Dreamed I was standing by the side of the road waiting for Amma to arrive. There was an ornange car in front followed by white car. Amma came out of the white car. I was very excited to see Amma. The first guy gets nice hug. Then Amma scolds me for not closing the car door & She walks away. I felt sad but it also felt good getting scolded by Amma.

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Amma Dreams 2005 07 07

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2005 07 07: Dreamed Amma, I and a few other people were walking thru this park. I was very happy to be with Amma. At one point Amma sat down at a picnic table and I washed Her feet. I felt so honored and blessed to be able to wash Her feet. I remember holding Her feet, seeing the brown skin with a few little bits of black stuff on them like ashes. I remember holding the water jug, pouring the water and washing them off. Then we went walking again and Amma was like a little girl playing around. I was walking a little bit ahead and when I turned a corner I felt tears come to my eyes because I was thinking how much Amma does for us. But I wanted to hide the tears so Amma couldn't see them. It was like She already knew my feelings and thoughts and there was no need to display them publically. Then Amma became a little girl about 5 or 6 years old and She was riding this big skateboard down the sidewalk. At one point She gently fell off the skateboard but I wasn't worried because I knew Amma was Divine and She could take care of Herself. Then one person in our group ask me to explain Amma to a couple that was passing by, but they didn't seem that interested. The couple was wearing dark purple shirts.

(Note: This dream above happened about a week or so before the Amma program in DC. A few months earlier I was told that I would be participating in one of the pada pujas at the program ("pada puja" is when we do a little ritual of washing Amma's feet as She walks into the hall; it is supposed to be VERY auspicious to wash the feet of a true guru). I found out a few weeks before this dream that I wouldn't be doing the pada puja, which created some dissapointment in me. Needless to say, all my dissapointment dissolved after the dream.)

2005 07 23: Dreamed I was walking along this beach boardwalk and behind me there was a staduim on the beach where an Amma program was going to begin soon. I got interested in this TV program in a shop and I was ignoring people who were telling me "Tom, Tom, Amma is about to come!" Finally it hit me (Oh my gosh!) and I turned around and ran toward the program. Amma had already walked thru the greeting line and I was dissapointed to miss it. Then I discovered I still had my shoes on and I was embarassed and took them off. And I thought "Now Amma will be mad at me." I saw some space right on the floor in front of Amma so I thought "What the heck, might as well sit here if no one minds." Amma's back was to the ocean. Then I felt really excited and blessed to be sitting right in front of Amma. I was sitting a little to Her right side. Soon She reached down with Her right hand and I got to touch Her hand. I felt happy. Then I noticed She looked different. She looked like a western woman with short hair, light skin and hazel eyes. I thought "Oh well, I guess Amma can appear however She chooses." Then Amma handed out some brochures with info on something I can't remember.

2005 07 29: Had this wonderful samadhi dream. I got up around 6am to use the bathroom. When I came back I tried to just focus on witnessing the experience of awareness. Usually I'm not able to do this for very long, but it seemed like Amma's grace was there and I was able to maintain the state for a while until I drifted off. Then I had this wonderful, long intense samadhi dream. (samadhi means blissful concentration). At one point I was riding in a car in the back pessenger seat looking out the window. It was kind of dark outside like very early morning. I was feeling this intense, blissful presence and my mind was empty. I was moaning blissfully a little bit and Terry (my younger brother) was there asking "What's up with Tom?". At another point I was in this room with a few other people. I was laying in the back of the room just staring at the floor and feeling this intense, blissful presence. People started walking by me. One young black woman stopped & looked into my eyes and said "Oh, it looks like he wants to do some gazing practice." and she looked deep in my eyes. She left after a while and the presence began to fade a little and my thoughts were coming back in.

2005 08 05: Dreamed I was in this dining hall sliding/skating along the floor in my sock feet. I saw Amma down the hall. I went to Her and asked about going to India and some other questions. She said now is an OK time to go. I felt good getting the confirmation. There was more to the dream but it slipped away.

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Amma Dreams 2005 04 21

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2005 04 21: Dreamed I was drving thru the parking lot of this big shopping mall. At one end was a big art gallery with big windows. I looked in and could see some big pictures of Amma and flowers. I was excited to see the pictures. The gallery was on my left and some of the Amma pictures were like 10 or 12 feet high. Then I dreamed that Ford Co. was showing this funny self-deprecating commercial. And then Amma, I & some other devotees were walking thru the Ford building. Amma was changing shapes to look like different people. Amma and our group would stop at different places in the building and Amma would read a short spiritual teaching to the people there. Before this part of the dream I was laying in bed feeling a nice kind of deep sadness thinking how much I missed Amma. I was kind of moaning and crying but afraid I would wake up Jagadish. It felt good to let out those feelings.

2005 04 24: Dreamed that I was at this house that bordered a forest and some mountains. I started to fly and fly over the grass & over the trees and was feeling great. Then I flew into a bedroom where I saw myself asleep. I looked younger with hair and no beard. I was wearing a red pajama top. I decided to go and give my younger self a hug. My younger self got out of bed and we sat on the floor hugging each other with our right cheeks touching and the right sides of our chests pressed together. It felt good.

2005 06 07. (I dreamed this while flying on an airplane) Had a lucid dream where I was experiencing emptiness or pure consciousness, very powerful. Then in that same lucid state I was floating thru the airplane cabin experiencing all the souls or spirits of the passengers. Then was driving down this road seeing the spirit bodies of the trees. I saw one really huge tree with many trunks that reached all the way to heaven where it was a channel of spirit energy. Then the spirit of an old woman was right in front of me & tried to merge into me. I got scared and called out "Amma! Amma!" Very scary.

2005 06 20: Dreamed I was at this big Amma event and people where having these parades honoring Amma in the hall with different themes and costumes. Some lady lost her cushion and I tossed it back to her and she got mad at me for tossing it. When she turned around I gave her the thumbs down and someone saw me and I said "You're right, I shouldn't have done that." There was lots of confusion in the hall and I only caught a few glimpses of Amma. Seated next to me was a big gay transvestite who was coming on to me and I felt uncomfortable. It was a much longer dream and I only remember the tail end of it.

2005 06 22: Dreamed I was at this hotel where Neem Karoli Baba was staying with maybe about 10 or so other devotees. I felt good being around him. At one point he wanted to walk to another room and He wanted me to help support Him by holding his left arm. I kind of got my arm a little tangled up with His. When I let go of His arm I kind of pulled it a little bit. I felt a little bad for doing that and I gently rubbed and kissed His left arm so it would feel better. He was wearing white with pale green designs and He had a blanket around Him. Then He gave me a big hug with my head resting on His right shoulder and I started to cry and cry and it felt wonderful. I felt so blessed to be able to cry in His arms. Then I was sitting on a bed watching a glass cabinet in the room and I started to cry again. After a few minutes my crying was done and I felt kind of peaceful and quiet. Then Neem Karoli walked into the next room to go to sleep. He flopped down on the bed on His back and covered Himself from head to toe with the blanket on the bed. He seemed really tired. The light was still on so me and some other people went into His room to light some candles so we could turn off the room light. We were having a hard time lighting the candles. Our plan was to light the candles, turn off the room light and leave and Neem Karoli would blow out the candles using his mystical powers.

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Amma Dreams 2005 02 10

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2005 02 10: Dreamed about this very successful Amma ashram in a city. It was in a long 4 or 5 story building along the riverfront. It seemed to be a hilly city like Pittsburgh. On the front of the building was a big blue, yellow & green painting of Krishna playing His flute. Everyone in the ashram had a job with lots of good food and good community. Some social philosopher academic was there who was saying that his ideas were abstract, but looking at the ashram he was seeing the real future of the world. I was in the kitchen watching everyone happily cooking, chopping, working in the indoor gardens, etc. I was feeling out of place. At one point I asked someone "How do you clean this?" They wouldn't quite tell me and I was feeling kind of frustrated. I was watching carefully to see how people did things. I was feeling kind of left out. Then I was back at the Hoa Nghiem Pagoda asking one of the monks about the dinner schedule so I could make my plans. He got a little upset at me for being worried about when we eat.

2005 02 13: Dreamed I was working in the really big hotel kitchen that was in the bottom floor. I was full of energy and running around helping wash the dishes and do all kinds of things. Then I was back at my engineering job at Ft. Belvoir. Someone had given me a Playboy magazine and I was trying to hide it within a larger engineering magazine, but people kept coming around me so I couldn't look at the Playboy magazine. At one point I went to the bathroom and put the Playboy into the bottom of a trashcan. Then I was at this house and me and this other person were getting ready to go this this fancy event at the Thai embassy or someplace like that. Me and this other person (I think it was a young lady) were being treated a little bit like royalty. We were led out to a waiting car where the door was opened for us. I was led to the passenger seat in the back. It was a silver car like a Honda Civic or something. There was a fancy little pillow on the ground that I could step on as I was getting into the car. I noticed someone that looked like Padmini in the front seat. She was wearing white clothes with pastel light blue colors shaped like diffuse clouds. As I settled in to the back seat I looked over to the driver and was totally shocked and amazed to see that Amma was driving!! I was so happy! All I wanted to do was just look at Amma. Amma was in a silly, wacky mood. Amma looked into my mind and could see that "Jai Ambe" was one of the few songs I knew by heart. Amma started singing it in a silly voice as She was driving and following a car that was leading us to our destination. We were driving fast thru some city. At one point the car in front of us was going across the lanes and swerving around. At this point I was half awake and wanting to record this dream. I was reluctant to wake up because it was so great being with Amma.

2005 04 04: Dreamed I was at this Amma event. We were outside near the food tent & I had a plate full of food. Amma came by and gave us a quick greeting, but I wanted a more intense greeting. Then we got onto two busses. Amma was in the lead bus and I was in the bus behind. I was happy to be with Amma but I was looking forward to getting a more intense darshan.

2005 04 20: Dreamed I was at this big Amma event and there was going to be a big procession & I was on the stage. I was in a green & white striped sari. It was like Amma had died and I put my little stick into the bowl of dirt. I cried a little bit, but deep down I knew that Amma had not died. And then I was carrying big trays of corn muffins and handing them out to everyone at the tables.

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Amma Dreams 2004 12 11

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2004 12 11: AMMA Dream. Dreamed that I was at this Amma event taking place in a house or retrat center. At one point 2 guys were arguing a little and I thought "Don't argue; Amma's here." Then were were laying down during the day and chanting the 108 Names of Amma. Then it was my turn to see Amma. She was laying in a bed that seemed to be outside in a pretty back yard with green grass, trees, blue sky and sunshine. I did a full prostration beside the bed on Amma's left hand side. She reaced down and started rubbing my back while I was in full prostration and I was thinking how unbelievably lucky I am. At one point I was sitting in a chair next to Amma's bed and then I thought "Oh, I need to sit lower." So I got out of the chair and sat on the floor next to Amma's bed and Amma was appreciating me. At another point Amma said "OK guys, don't fight." And I was thinking "OK guys, whatever Amma says, take it seriously!" Then Amma told me I had to go pick up some guy named "Ma Huang" who lived somewhere about an hour west of Poolesville, MD in a place called "Needham" or something. Ma Huang was the husband of some lady in the group. I remember they showed me a map and I said "OK, that looks familiar, I know how to get there." I was happy to be of service to Amma. I also vaguely remember being next to Amma and crying with devotion; felt really good. (Note, the night before this dream I had a long talk with Jagadish where the subjects of Ma Huang and devotion to Amma were discussed)

2005 01 14: AMMA Dream: Dreamed that I lined up in the middle of the line for Amma's darshan, but somehow I ended up way in the back. I didn't mind so much because I knew I would get darshan eventually. Then someone came and guided those of us in the back of the line to the front. I thought that was cool. I was in the line on Amma's right hand side and I was reading someone's book on nutrition. I was about the 5th in line. There weren't many people around Amma & I was hoping I could hang around Her after my darshan. When I went up for my darshan I strated crying a little bit when I was in Amma's arms (tears of sadness & joy). She whispered in my ear and when I leaned back She took my hands and kissed them. It felt really good to get Amma's blessing. Then I noticed I had my shirt off, so I went to the side and started to put the shirt and sweater on. I was a little embarrased without a shirt, but I also felt proud of my back muscles. I noticed it was someone else's shirt and the cuffs were small and kind of ripped. I just put my hands thru the rips. As I walked I was wondering if the owner of the shirt would see me wearing it, but I wasn't too worried. I was going to do some seva (selfless service).

2005 01 20: Dreamed that I was in this library looking for some children's books. I started reading this one book that had a picture of some very tall trees growing in front of this large cliff. I then went into the picture and climbed to the top of the cliff and sat on a ledge and looked out to the tall trees and the land far below. The trees were alive and had faces and people lived in them in tree houses. Then I became very scared of the height and wondered how I would get down. Then I just jumped off and started floating down. Then I was in this enlightenment school where they taught something like Alan Watts and Aldous Huxley ("The Island") teachings. After the teachings we all became enlightened and our minds were empty and very peaceful and spontaneous. Then we were all in this big gym and we all started off by holding hands and running around in long snakey lines. Then there was me and this other young person on a basketball court trying to make long distance shots. We were doing it just for fun and didn't really care if we actually made a basket.

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Amma Dreams 2004 07 ??

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2004 07 ??: AMMA Dream. Dreamed I was in this small house where there was an Amma program. There were only a few people signed up. We went in and Amma arrived soon. There were only about 8 of us there and it felt wonderful to be with such a small group to get Amma's darshan.

2004 10 14: AMMA Dream: Dreamed that I was helping get the Amma RV van ready to go the next stop after Devi Bhava. The van was turning around and I saw Amma smiling in the front passenger seat. I had to dodge the van but Amma was smiling as if to say "Don't worry, we would never hit you." I was the last one into the van.

(Devi Bhava is a special program Amma gives on the last night of Her visit to a city)

2004 12 10: AMMA Dream: Dreamed I was at this house and one of the DC101 DJs was there (Greaseman?). (DC101 is a rock radio station in Washington, DC). At one point Amma led us all up into the attic and we had a nice time. Then the DC101 guy invited me to see some sexy videos but I soon was changing the channels because I didn't want to get tempted. At one point I said to him "My Mother told me to stay away from that sexy stuff." Then we were sitting at a kitchen table with Amma and Her eyes were very blue. She spoke a little about how She enjoyed going up into the attic with everyone. Then Amma got a call on Her cell phone. The word "OWNER" appeared on the phone and she asked "Who is this?" I explained what the word meant and then I realized Amma knows what it meant, She was just asking who it was. I felt embarrased for assuming Amma didn't know. At the kitchen table Amma was absorbed in bliss and kind of spacey, but She still tried to join us in our small talk. Then I was at my new house and these power lines were coming in. They fell off their poles and I had to make sure they weren't touching each other so I was trying to separate them. At one point I stepped on one of the cables and got a mild electrical buzz.

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Amma Dreams 2004 03 04

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2004 03 04: Dreamed that I was watching this debate between Bush and Kerry & Kerry was doing pretty well. Then I felt this kind of psychological, mental anxious energy and pressure building up in me. After building very strongly for 2 or 3 seconds, it kind blew up with a flash of white light. Then I felt calm and peaceful.

2004 03 25: AMMA DREAM: Had this lucid dream where I was walking into a big hall with people walking around. Then I remembered in the dream that I could call for Amma, so I called "Amma! Amma!" Then I noticed it was an Amma hall with other people there. I went to Amma's chair and noticed someone else sitting there. They left and I bowed to Amma's chair and sat there. They made the hall dark so people would leave so they could get the hall ready for the next event. I was enjoying the lucid dream.

2004 04 29: AMMA DREAM: Dreamed I was at this Amma program and I was first in line. Amma was standing at a table and She said in perfect English "OK, everyone has to donate twice as much this time!" That was OK with me; I was happy being next to Amma. I started writing my check and I was thinking about how I could write it slowly so I could spend more time next to Amma.

2004 05 01: SPIRITUAL DREAM: Dreamed that it was a nice day and I went up to two women who were seated at a picnic table. It was a nice park area. I sat opposite them. One woman was dressed in white with her long black hair wrapped up in a white turban. She seemed like a guru. The other woman seemed older, was short and dressed in yellow. The woman in yellow reminded me of Dipa Ma. Both were very pure. I laid my head on the table and started really crying and it felt very good. They said "Oh, he's crying to let out all his old stuff." The woman in white asked me "Why do you want to follow me?" I said that I wanted ultimate enlightenment. She seemed satisfied with that answer. Periodically I would lay my head on the table and cry and that felt good. After a while we got up and walked away.

2004 06 20: SPIRITUAL DREAM: Dreamed that I was at this big meeting hall. It felt like an Amma gathering. They let us in and I ran toward the front near the the stage (the main stage was up some big stairs on my left). I ran around and up and got near the main stage which was a few stairs above me. On the main stage close to me was a young kid about 8 yrs old with blond hair & remarkable blue eyes. When he looked right at me I felt powerful awe and reverence like he was a great enlightened being. I felt so lucky to be so close to him. I held my right hand to my heart. He was toward my right and toward my left down below the huge hall was filling up with people. The enlightened kid then looked at another person near me. His eyes were now orange with green around the edges, and I thought how interesting that his eyes changed color.

2004 07 06: SPIRITUAL DREAM: Dreamed that I was at this gathering of people & I saw Prasad tapping foreheads with this African-American guy. (Prasad was a disciple of Papaji and a neo-advaita spiritual teacher I followed from 1997 to about 2000) They exchanged spiritual energy when their foreheads touched. I was kind if jealous because I also wanted to experience that. Then Prasad came to me and looked deep into my eyes and touched his forehead to mine. I went into bliss. Then Pam was there and she was also in bliss. The three of us sat down on a bench with Pam in the middle and we were sharing a group hug basking in the bliss. There was some kind of spiritual birthday dance going on in front of us with nice music.

2004 07 09: Dreamed that I was in a room with Amma & She was answering questions. She said that when a female becomes excited in a certain way, her vagina will give off something sweet. Then someone in the audience asked: "Like payasim?" (payasim is a sweet rice pudding). Amma said "Yeah, like that." Then someone asked "How will we know if its the real sweetness?" Amma replied "Well, the proof is in the pudding." We laughed. Then I wanted to ask some more questions, but something was wrong with my little handheld computer and I couldn't get to the questions.

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Amma Dreams 2003 10 11

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2003 10 11: Amma Dream: Dreamed that Amma was leading a ceremony in a hall and then She started to give darshan. They weren't too many people there and there was alot of room. It was great. I was happy that I wouldn't have to wait long in a big crowd. I walked over to Amma's left hand side and noticed that she didn't look like Amma. Her eyebrows were kind of fierce and Her face was a little more angular, kind of like a guy. Then these waves of tears came over my and I just cried. I was kind of detached from the crying. I could feel the strong emotion, but I felt there was a good reason for the crying, so I just let it happen with no concern. The crying would come in strong and then fade away.

2003 11 11: AMMA DREAM. Dreamed I was on this long, kind of boring bicycle ride. Then I was at this complex of small condo units and I had to use the bathroom. One woman's unit was a little flooded so I went to this other unit where Amma was staying but She wasn't there at the time. The toilet was right in the living room next to the main window. The toilet was pretty big. I started to pee and then I saw Amma returning. I quickly locked the door so Amma couldn't come in and I turned so She could only see my back thru the window. I finished peeing and cleaned myself and went outside. I was very humble before Amma. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a bright yellow shirt (Amma had a big butt!). She sat down on a chair just outside the door and I took the opportunity to bow and touch Her feet. I sat up and Amma put Her hands on my head & I felt deeply honored. Then I looked into Her eys and felt this wave of power, bliss, joy and awe. It felt so good to be in Her presence!

2003 11 21: AMMA DREAM. Dreamed I was new at this Amma ashram and getting to know some people there. I told some jokes, but the response was kind of lukewarm. Then I was in the darshan hall with Amma. There weren't many people there and I got to be first in line. I laid on my back with my head in Amma's lap while She massaged my shoulders and neck. Ahhh! Nice! Then I sat up and looked into Her eyes. They were big and ice blue and she had light blond/red hair. As always, it was a very powerful experience looking into Her eyes. I felt honored and blessed to be with Her.

2004 02 12: AMMA DREAM: Dreamed that I was with Amma and some other people in a kitchen. At one point Amma saw an onion and tried to say it in English. I said "ulli, ulli" and she said "Oh, yeah. Ulli; onion." Then I was with this young girl who wanted to talk with Amma. I said to her "Say 'Nan premam Amma' ". Later on I was laying on my stomach on a massage table with Amma nearby. Then Amma was lying on top of me and the table gently collapsed. I was still lying on my stomach. Then Amma took hold of my neck with Her right hand and with Her left hand She rubbed my lower back. I felt some strong energy flowing into my root chakra. I felt it was great blessing that Amma was giving me. After some minutes She stopped and I just lay there feeling the energy She gave me. Then I was in my big executive chair rolling down the road with cars passing me.

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Amma Dreams 2002 09 ??

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2002 09 ??: Dreamed I was trying to sleep, but Carolyn's kids were making a lot of noise, so I went outside to sleep on the sidewalk. This friendly cat came, jumped up on my shoulder and sat there. I stayed real still so as not to scare the cat away. Then the cat became a beautiful young girl and I was afraid to move because I didn't want to lose her. And then we went to have breakfast and she said she didn't know who she could trust. I said "You can trust your teachers and yourself." She said she wasn't beautiful, and I said "You have a beautiful, beautiful spirit." I feeling lots of emotion. Then they took me to this small breakfast table and I was feeling kind of sleepy and spacey. This one woman guided me to sit down. I was in a blissful, samadhi state and then I started to laugh out loud and I wondered what everyone would think of me. Then the alarm went off.

2002 11 07: (AMMA DREAM) Dreamed I was going up this river with Dad in a boat and we came to this building where they were having a small Amma event. The room was paneled in wood and was kind of old fashioned. We all stood up when Amma came in and I felt this wonderful wave of devotion and love arise. She sat at this table and Prasad was also there. There was space available so I moved to sit at the table. At fist Amma talked about this form that people needed to have and then she said don't worry about it. At this point She had on this very garish, heavy blue & gold eye makeup like the wings of a butterfly. She spoke dharma in her native language & English & then She wanted us to hold hands. Prasad and this other woman reached out for Amma's hands. The other woman pulled her hands back so I put my hands out and held Amma's hands. I started to cry a little. She reached over the table to hug me and with lots of emotion and tears I said "Please make the pain stop! It hurts so much!" (I was referring to my everpresent anxiety and sense of separation). Then I felt and saw this powerful energy burst inside of me like a BIG emotional knot bursting open. I could see the explosion, it was powerful, but not bright. Subdued colors. It woke me up and then I was floating in this peaceful state for a few moments.

2002 12 17: Dreamed I was at this Dharma teaching by a very high Tibetan Lama. I was sitting on the floor. This monk invited me to lean back and he asked if he could rub my shoulders. I said "Sure!".

2002 12 19: Had this amazing series of complex lucid dreams after I got back from the bathroom. Near the beginning I floated out of my body and was moving around the ceiling. I seemed to be completely lucid and I was making a point of consciously looking at my hands. At another point I laid down on this big circular rock that was supported by bearings so it could roll over. The idea was to lie on the rock in bliss for billions of years while it flipped over once every year or hundred years. I was feeling blissful and enlightened throughout the whole dream.

2002 12 22: (At the Land Celebration). Dreamed I was flying over the fields near the house where I was sleeping and I was hearing the John Denver song "I Want To Live" and I was totally blissed out by the spirit of the song and feeling very enlightened while flying over the beautiful green fields.

2003 02 25: (AMMA DREAM) Dreamed I was with some spiritual friends (Dave C, Pam M & A. T.) in the basement at my former house on Larchmont Ct in northern VA. One of them was showing me this sadhana book they got from Ammachi. The book had directions and pictures to meditate on. After a few moments I said "Hold it; you're not supposed to show us your sadhana and mantra!" Then they closed the book. Then we walked into the main room of my basement and Ammachi was sitting on my yellow meditation cushion. I asked Her if I could use it and Amma said "Oh. OK. No problem." She acted very ordinary and cool. Then I realized what I was doing! I said "Oh, Amma! I'm sorry. Please sit there. Don't worry about it." Then I did some bows to Her right knee and touched Her right knee like you would touch a Holy person. I was feeling very contrite that I asked Amma to get off my cushion! She got on the cushion and turned around to look at everyone in the room. Then I was just looking at Amma and feeling how amazing it was to be so close to Her. Hey eyes were big and beautiful and I felt love and tears inside me. It seemed I was the only one who was so overjoyed to see Amma. She seemed so ordinary but I deeply felt She was a true Avatar (incarnation of God).

2003 03 06: (AMMA DREAM) Dreamed I was in this wierd indoor subway transportation system. At one point, I saw one of the train cars came loose and was grabbed by a chain and flung against the wall. I was kind of scared and glad that it didn't get thrown toward me. I walked away and took an unauthorized shortcut by grabbing a chain and swung down to a lower level. Some little security munchkin drawf saw me and told on me. I was nervous I would be caught so I turned my shirt inside out so they wouldn't recognize me. They caught me and told me I had to go see Mother (Amma). I went to see her and She was in bed happily answering a stream of questions from people. When it was my turn She held up a map book and said "Always carry your map with you. It's correct and everything is in there." Her head was toward my left side and near Her head seemed to be an open window with sunlight. I was a little contrite and said "Yeah, you're right Amma. I need to carry that map."

2003 05 25: Amma Dream: Dreamed I was at this wierd bowling ally where at the end of the lane was this glass beaker that you had to bounce the ball off of so it would arc into some water pools behind it. As I was getting ready to bowl I noticed that the fingerholes were too tight, so I thought to myself "This is a dream, I'll just make the fingerholes larger." As I realized this was a dream, I looked at my hands and came fully awake (lucid) in the dream. Then I thought "I want to go see Amma." Then the bowling alley faded and I was srrounded by some dim lights and swirling shapes and I was feeling for Her presence.

2003 06 22 AMMA DREAM: Dreamed I was with this woman who was an Amma devotee & organizer. She had just finished up one retreat and we were in a van to go another retreat. Her Mom was also in the van. Later in the dream I met one of Amma's senior disciples who was awake (enlightened) and had a PhD.

2003 08 17 AMMA DREAM: Dreamed I was at an Amma event in the main hall and I had to speak with one of the organizers about mowing the grass or some task. I was walking around looking for the right person and asking people. I finally found the right person (Ann) and we conferred for a few moments. Then it was near time for Amma to come into the hall. The atmosphere became very electric! Many people were strongly anticipating Her entry; people crying, beaming and in rapture. Amma came in & sat down but She didn't look like Amma. She looked like a man and her gaze was cool, a little serious and intense. She slowly looked around at everyone. Then She leaned over backwards in her chair for a few seconds and sat back up. I was totally in love & bliss. She was wearing some kind of hozizontal stripped dress or robe.

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