Monday, May 04, 2015

Feeling Ashamed About Asking to Ring the Bell for Amma

Dreamed that I was at Amma's ashram in a nice auditorium hall. I was sitting on the left side of the hall. The hall seated about 1,000 people with the chairs curved around the stage and rising up at about 30 degree angle. The hall had a lot of nice wood paneling. Before Amma came out I went to the stage and told one of the ladies that Amma usually lets me ring the bell. The lady got a little angry with me and said something like "What are you talking about? We already have someone who will ring the bell." I felt very embarrassed and ashamed and went back to my chair. Then Amma came on to the stage wearing her usual bright white saree. I got the feeling that the lady told Amma that I asked to ring the bell. Then I got the feeling that later on Amma was going to tell the whole audience about me asking to ring the bell. I felt very nervous and ashamed so I left the auditorium and took an elevator upstairs to get some food (a few slices of brown bread). Soon I got lost in the building. At one point I was in the elevator with two young guys in black hoodies with some kind of grey designs on them. One of the guys said "We're with Feurenzin." I said "Cool, what's that?" He explained it was a heavy metal music festival for gay men. I thought "Wow, that's kind of cool. I've never heard of anything like that." One of the guys was really tall, about 6 feet 9 inches or so. He said the ashram is not a good place for the festival so they'll have to move it somewhere else. I agreed that heavy metal concerts and Amma's ashram are not a good mix.

Comment: "Forenzen" is the Dutch word for "commuter" and "Feuerwanzen" is the German word for a type of small red insect called a "fire bug".