Monday, February 16, 2009

Amma Ignores Me

Dreamed that I was at this Amma program and I was allowed to be on the "greeter bed". In the dream an Amma devotee was chosen to lay on the "greeter bed". Then when Amma came into the program the first person She would greet would be the person on the greeter bed. For one or two nights I was chosen to be on the greeter bed and Amma would walk into the hall, give me a nice smile and nice hug. Then She would greet the other people and go into the main program hall. On the third night I was on the greeter bed again. When Amma came in She made a point of ingnoring me. I felt very embarrased because everyone there was watching me being ingnored by Amma. I was thinking that now everyone will be talking about how Amma ignored me. I felt ashmamed and isolated. But then I thought, "Oh well, I just have to deal with it. If everyone chooses to talk about Amma ignoring me, well, there's nothing I can do about it."

Then I was walking behind some buildings and this young attractive lady asked me about the incident. I said that Amma probably ignored me because I was hogging the greeter bed. But in my mind I was thinking that there could be some other reason.

Then a little later in the dream I was leaving the Amma program and I could see many Amma devotees helping with the cleanup. I was feeling a guilty that I was leaving without helping.

Commentary: Sometimes I joke around with my Amma friends about my desire for Amma to publically scold me. Now I'm not so sure!