Monday, July 17, 2006

2006 07 17, Tuesday

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2006 07 17. Dreamed that I was at this house watching some TV. On the show was Big Swami dressed in western clothes. ("Big Swami" aka Swami Amrita-swarupa-nanda is Amma's senoir disciple (and he's a big guy).) He was in the kitchen of an upscale American home. In the kitchen was an American guy. The American was telling Swami how difficult it was to control his young boy. Rather than fight with him, he just lets the kid do what he wants. After hearing this, Big Swami turned toward the camera with a concerned look on his face. In that moment I became lucid in the dream. I consciously "knew" I was dreaming. I consciously lifted my hand to look at it (this is a dream technique from Don Juan in the Carlos Castenada books). Then I did what I sometimes do when I become lucid or semi-lucid in dreams; I started calling for Amma. "Amma! Amma!" I wanted to see Amma! After a minute or so of calling for Amma, I laid my head down (left ear down) on the grass and started to cry. Then (as I continued to cry) I felt this big pressure in my upper chest and throat like air was being pumped into me. It wasn't unpleasant; just intense. I was also witnessing myself as I was crying. A part of me was detached while the other part was crying for Amma. Then the dream shifted and I was walking down this road winding thru some big mountains in the American west. In the ditch I saw some Hindu cartoon books or pamphlets that someone had thrown away. On the covers were pictures of the Hindu gods. I was kind of just wandering; I don't remember a particular destination.

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